Manga Popart Butterfly

Manga Popart Butterfly

Monday, August 29, 2016

Dear Big Pharma:

...after years of trying to find
an antidepressant to ease the
pain of craving non-existence,
death,
I found a new medication.

My dr. gave me a free months'
worth of samples & a coupon, she said,
that would assure I paid no more
than $10 per month for this new
miracle drug, for one whole year. I was hoping to be MUCH BETTER
after a year of treatment...and to discontinue it.

Three week's into taking the drug
I called my pharmacist, coded coupon in hand,
to make sure this bargain was kosher,
having been burned before.
She then proceeded to tell me that
the one medication
that had made me feel happy & calm
in over ten years was not covered under
my insurance plan.

I calmly explained the coupon & she said,
"Read the fine print under the guaranteed $10 price."
I did...in tiny, purposely-faded letters it said,
'pays up to $100 not covered by insurance.'

How much could 30 tiny pills cost?

Turns out this anti-depressant was $375 per bottle.
With my bogus $10 coupon, they'd be $275 per month.

Now, after weeks of conquering debilitating side effects,
a few weeks of happiness (so this is what it feels like...I'd forgotten)!
I now face withdrawing from this medicine
that works and falling back down the rabbit hole
of despair, hopelessness and sadness...

It doesn't seem fair, or right.

8/29/16






Thursday, August 25, 2016

Monday, August 22, 2016

Dear Life:

Thank you for my friend, Angie,
who never judges me & always listens
to me.  Thank you for her Reiki
mastery which taught her how
to send healing energy.
Her love & friendship
holds me together, often...

Thank you for the sweet,
beautiful, Black lady
with the cool feather tattoo
standing behind me
at Starbucks who told me
with a gorgeous smile
to have a great day.
I did.

Thank you for the day
of photographing
shotgun houses
which propelled me
to another place & time.
It was magical.

Thank you
for a day without rain
after weeks of sky-tears.

xo,
M

Monday, August 15, 2016

Dear Rain:

Rain, rain, go away;
come again some other day.
Perhaps on a dry day.

My precious state is, yet again,
suffering the pangs of
inclement, harsh, brutal,
extreme weather.
Floods, flash floods.
Water came into my house,
but only the back half,
thank goodness...

One minute it was dry and
the next, my feet were in
a puddle as I sat in my recliner.
I moved fast...picking up books
on the floor, rolling up my one good
rug and throwing down towels.
It was a mess, but only for 24 hours.
We sopped and mopped and
things were dry by morning.

Not so south of us.  One-third of
the state is devastated, under water
from flooding rain that parked and
stayed over the Baton Rouge area.

It's still raining now, only gently.
Thundering enough to rattle
my old windows, too...

Pray for the people whose homes and
businesses are flooded.  I can't imagine
the loss, pain, suffering & work ahead of them...

xo,
Marion

8/14/16



Wednesday, August 10, 2016

Dear Heart:

Today
I feel tabula rasa,
blank page,
faceless clock,
newborn baby's soul,
sunrise,
seed sprouting,
bluebird egg hatching,
dragonfly nymph emerging
from brackish swamp,
raindrop forming
from ether...

empty,
nothingness.

Yesterday,
tossd away 
carelessly,
like trash.

Is this nirvana?
Or is this hell?

...only time will tell.


8/10/16




Friday, August 5, 2016

Dear Depression:

Every human being should
have to experience depression at
least one week of their lives.
(Not that I'd ever wish it upon anyone!)

     To give them a teeny-tiny chance at empathy...

Not "down in the dumps" depression,

but, "I want to die every minute
of every day" depression; "I'm walking in quicksand
and sinking fast" depression;
"I CAN'T SNAP OUT OF IT and
I don't really know why the fuck
I'm even depressed" depression.  Does there even need to be
a reason?  Hell, no!  Some think so.  Is it an illness, a chemical imbalance, a mental illness?  Yes, yes, and yes!!!

Depression is NOT simply
feeling sorry for yourself. We've all done that
at one point or other.  It's
a horrifying monster attached to your psyche
draining/sucking your energy & your very life from you.

Merriam-Webster dictionary defines depression like this:

(1)  :  a state of feeling sad :(2)  :  a psychoneurotic disorder marked especially by sadness, inactivity, difficulty in thinking and concentration, a significant increase or decrease in appetite and time spent sleeping, feelings of dejection and hopelessness, and sometimes suicidal tendencies.

Well, that's a good start...it's much more than that.


If you're experiencing depression

or suicidal tendencies
PLEASE seek help:

U.S. National Suicide Prevention Helpline:


1-800-273-8255


Worldwide Suicide Crisis Sites to HELP YOU!

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_suicide_crisis_lines

And definitely talk to a Family Physician
or to a caring friend or family member
and ASK FOR HELP!!!

I also highly recommend that, should
you seek empathy/help from a family member
who berates you or does not help/believe you,
then go to a physician or clinic
where you WILL find nonjudgmental empathy,
sympathy, and help...and remember,
you can and will get better!

8/5/16






Monday, August 1, 2016

Hello, August...

Forget the wet, blistering heat for a moment...
and notice the small, orange butterflies
flitting from late flowering weed to
late flowering weed.
Yes, weeds have a purpose
as does everything in nature---

No slackers allowed!

Consider the flowers going to seed
in the wavy, visible heat...
just doing their jobs, joyfully.

Collect the dry seed pods tenderly---
Carefully, now, don't drop any!
Their seeds are next year's
pinks & reds & purples---
God's crayon box
used with abandon.

Hello, August!

Marion
8/1/2016